This may come as a bit of a surprise to some people. You’re probably thinking Oh, he means *white* cheddar. No, shit-stick, I do not. Cheddar cheese is goddamn white, and it’s not the shit they coat Smartfood popcorn with.
Listen, we need to talk. This is getting pretty ridiculous. I know you mean well, but enough is enough. You need to go back on your meds. In case you didn’t know, I don’t enjoy having seizures when I watch you. Similarly, I do not enjoy listening to horrible music with horrible English about how life is a painful flower or something else not even remotely related to the show.
I don’t know about the rest of you people, but I spend a lot of time working with CSS. Most of the time it’s extremely boring. Very rarely do I ever get to do anything interesting, and even when I do, I usually have to scrap it because it doesn’t work on that piece of shit known as Internet Explorer.
However, CSS can do some pretty neat stuff. Once CSS3 and HTML5 finally get finalized in 2156 things are going to be pretty awesome. But there’s still some pretty amazing things you can do with CSS right now. For instance, check this out:
First of all, I didn’t make that. It’s from Román Cortés and it’s done entirely with html and CSS. The concept that he’s using is actually fairly simple and doesn’t even use special CSS tricks. What you’re actually looking at is a whole bunch of <P> tags all lined up in columns. The tags start out small on one side, gradually get bigger towards the middle, and then get smaller again towards the other side. They all share the same background image and each tag moves the placement of that image forward a small bit, this creates the effect of a single image, albeit distorted in order to give it a 3D effect. Adding in background-attachment: fixed adds the real magic: causing the can to appear to rotate when you use the slider.
If you really want to take a closer look, open up firebug and take a look at it, it’s not even all that complicated. It is, however, stupendously awesome and I wish I had thought of it.
I often tell people that I don’t eat raisins because I had a bad experience, but I don’t always tell them what that experience was. In fact, sometimes merely telling people of my experience makes them not eat raisins as well. But what horrible thing happened to make me stop eating such a seemingly harmless food?
Recently I thought to myself: Maybe I should make a new site, something with WordPress. I’ve certainly made plenty of sites in the past. Dozens of sites for various clients, and of course some for myself. My previous “venture” was Spatter Graphics. I made this site a long, long time ago and it’s gone through quite a few variations, most of them just shy of terrible. I started that site when I was still doing a lot of Photoshop and CGI work so it seemed pretty appropriate. However, I don’t spend much time doing that sort of stuff anymore and consequently that site doesn’t ever get updated, or looked at, or anything at all.
So, a new site. I decided I should start something fresh. Something more fitting. “Spatter Graphics” doesn’t really describe anything useful anymore. It’s too specific, I’m not doing graphics now. I do a lot of writing though, and I like to talk about programming, video games, movies, etc etc. Oh shit. That’s a blog. I’ve just described a site where I ramble about bullshit. A blog. Fuck.