I had a pretty average childhood for the most part. Went to public schools, didn’t move around too much. Had a decent number of friends, but wasn’t super popular. It was all just pretty average.
However, there were some things that occurred that were not average at all. In fact, they were pretty fucked up. Now, everybody’s got their crazy stories about weird shit that happened once upon a time, but most of them don’t have anything to do with something so quaint as a spiral notebook.
So, I was in middle school. Maybe 5th, 6th grade, not entirely sure. Like everybody else, I had a spiral notebook. I didn’t have a bunch of them, just one big one. Most of the time I just used it for doodling in. School was boring.
Anyway, this thing happens with spiral notebooks sometimes. I don’t really understand it, but sometimes one end of the spiral starts to unwind itself. This is always odd because the spiral itself never really seems to be affected. Well, for whatever reason, I always liked to straighten out the end of the spiral. It’s just a weird habit, I do it with paper-clips a lot too.
You know how those spirals always have the end pieces curved over themselves? They do that so they’re not poking into things and ripping holes in your backpack and whatnot. I even straightened that thing out too. I guess I probably should have left it alone, but I didn’t.
Now, this was well before high school, so most of the time we were in the same room with the same teacher. Sometimes though, for particular classes, we would all go to another classroom as a group, and another class would come to our room. I guess they were trying to prepare us for high school, who knows.
Anyway, we all went to some other classroom. I left my notebook on my desk because I’m kind of lazy and don’t really plan on taking notes or whatever. So it was just sitting there, little piece of metal sticking up into the air like an antenna. I figure it’s fine, I’ve got all sorts of stuff in my desk.
I don’t remember what the other class was, probably some rudimentary excuse for math. At any rate, we were all heading back to our regular classroom and there were tons of people in the hallway. I didn’t know what was going on but all of a sudden I saw these paramedics go by with a stretcher, wheeling somebody out of the building.
Nobody else really seemed to know what was going on either, so I figured I’d just go back to my desk and forget about it. I got back there and sat down and I noticed that my notebook was lying on the floor.
I picked up the notebook and looked around, “Hey! Who’s been messing with my stuff?”
I don’t think anybody said anything at first, but several people looked at me like I had just raped the Pope in the eye. I looked at my notebook again, confused. That’s odd. The little metal piece that’s always sticking out of the end is a lot shorter. It looked like somebody cut it off with a pair of pliers.
OK, so here’s what happened while we were in the other classroom:
At some point, the kid sitting at my desk dropped his pencil or pen or whatever and he reached over to get it up off the floor. Now, remember how I said my notebook was sitting on the desk? With the little metal thing pointing up into the air? Yeah. He bent right over and pushed his face right into the notebook. Apparently, the little metal thing went into the bottom part of his eye.
I mean, I wasn’t there, but that was probably pretty bad. I guess the thing kinda got stuck in there, that’s why they cut it off. I gotta say though, the little piece of metal that was left on my notebook was a hell of a lot sharper now that it had been cut. I left it on there. Nobody said anything about it. I don’t even know who that kid was.
I guess the moral of the story is, don’t be a fucking idiot and plant your face into a desk when you’re picking shit up off the floor. Moron.
Originally posted on some other site I don’t talk about in September of 2008, some minor editing done